


where the midnight and heartbreak meet

by bookishgypsy



Category: Dynasty (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-18 03:50:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21504736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookishgypsy/pseuds/bookishgypsy
Summary: The first thing she’s realizing as her feet glide across the hardwood floors is that this isn’t even her room anymore. It’s theirs. Undeniably and irrevocably theirs. // Or, Fallon goes through Liam’s belongings.
Relationships: Fallon Carrington/Liam Ridley
Comments: 17
Kudos: 69





	where the midnight and heartbreak meet

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I know it's been a little bit since I've actually wrote something. But the muse finally spoke. I hope you enjoy & I'd love to hear what you think.
> 
> Title comes from a song of Lady Antebellum's new album titled 'The Thing That Wrecks You,' and anyone who knows me is probably not surprised at all about this.

There’s a harrowing silence when she steps foot inside her bedroom, the loneliness mocking her soundlessly when she steps foot into the space alone, the absolute stillness and silence screaming back at her as she can hear her own thoughts in her mind all too clearly.

The first thing she’s realizing as her feet glide across the hardwood floors is that this isn’t even _her_ room anymore. 

It’s _theirs._

Undeniably and irrevocably theirs. 

Every inch of this room is covered in _him_ and drenched in memories of _them_ and the thought of packing up all his belongings and handing them back to him, of really finalizing the end of their relationship and letting him go like he so wishes her to do, really tears her heart into a million pieces all over again. 

She finds it so unfair that as soon as she found her person, the _one_ person in the world who accepted her for exactly who she was and who loved her despite all her flaws, the person who taught her she could love just as fully and effortlessly as he could, had no recollection of their time together and there wasn’t anything she could do in the world to control this situation and make his memories come back. 

The only thing she could do was step back and give him the space he was asking for.

But she _loved_ him, and when you love something, when you love _someone,_ you set them free - even if it did hurt like hell to do so. 

She slips her heels off effortlessly, letting them linger by her doorway as she trudges her way to her ensuite, as ready as she’ll ever be to start pulling his things scattered around her room together for him. 

Her heart aches just _seeing_ his toothbrush sitting on her double vanity, set right beside her own. She reaches for that first, setting it at the edge of the counter, thinking of all the nights they’d spend in here together; how her nighttime routine quickly became _their_ nighttime routine. 

She hates how lonely her own toothbrush looks by itself against the bright white of her countertop. 

She pivots her body to face the opposite wall, her shower sticking out amongst the rest, memories of their mornings together floating to the forefront of her headspace. She’d loved showering with him; it was a sort of intimacy she didn’t really know could exist with so much love bubbling beneath the surface, without it being based off just something solely physical. 

It’d been something that’d easily become part of their morning routine together, where he’d taken a liking to washing her hair with his own gentle hands. He’d lather the suds of her tropical smelling shampoo in his palms, running his fingers through her long strands while the water rained down from above washing it all away. 

And then her porcelain bathtub that sits off just to the side which brought a whole different memory washing over her, a whole new tide of emotions rolling in quickly like a wave.

_She loved business, she did - don’t get her wrong. She loved having an idea and being able to create it and see it through in the exact way she wanted to._

_But, being CEO of two companies at the same time, especially on the brink of such a big breakthrough for her own company, was entirely too much and she couldn’t deny that she was definitely feeling the stress of it all weighing down heavily on her shoulders._

_She makes her way up the manor’s lavish staircase, wanting nothing more than to strip off her business clothes and throw on something comfortable and curl up beside her boyfriend in the warmth of her sheets for the entirety of the night._

_She steps in her bedroom to surprised to find she’s alone, Liam visibly not here waiting for her arrival like he usually was every other night. She drops her bag against the ottoman at the end of her bed and kicks her shoes off, the heels banging against the hard floor._

_“Fal?”_

_At least, she thought she was alone until the moment she hears her name called out from her ensuite._

_“Liam?”_

_She makes her way to the sound of his voice, surprised to find when she turns the corner, he’s got her tub running and it’s almost filled to the brim, bubbles popping up over the edges and the smell of her coconut bubble bath filling the room along with the hot, steamy water. He’s got at least a dozen of candles lit up and scattered across her bathroom, the only light source in the room coming from those orange, fiery flames._

_“Hey, babe,” he smiles in her direction as soon as he sees her._

_“What’s all this for?”_

_He turns the knob to the left to shut the water off, making his way towards her slowly and welcoming her home with a slow, warm, gentle kiss. He pulls back after a moment, but keeps her close, his hand coming up to softly cup the side of her face._

_“I know you’ve been stressed. You have too much on your plate right now and I hate seeing you like this. Under all this constant pressure,” he says and she brings her hand up to grab on to his that’s still resting against her face. “I thought it might help you relax a little bit if we took a bath.”_

_Her heart swells at his words, at the way he was always,_ always _putting her needs before his own. The fact that he’d been seeing for days how much she’d let pile up on her plate and how it was entirely too much for anyone to take on. That’d he planned this for her in hopes of relieving some of that stress building inside her._

_“That sounds really nice.”_

_She sinks her body into the hot water after he does, finding comfort in the way he pulls her to him so her back is pressed against his chest, his arms looping around her and lacing their fingers together beneath the surface. She leans her head back against his shoulder, allowing herself to fully succumb to him and the atmosphere he’s created for her tonight._

_He’s quick to press a kiss against the side of her head and she’s equally as fast to tell him, “Thank you.”_

_She feels the vibration against her almost immediately when he mumbles, “I love you,” in response._

_She’s overwhelmed with how she feels, completely taken back with how much she can actually feel for one person in one particular moment._

_She loves him. She knows she does, more than she thought she’d ever be capable of loving someone. But she can’t get the words out, can’t form them in her mouth to tell him the same three little words in return. She settles on squeezing their joined hands beneath the water, hoping her actions speak louder than words ever could._

She wills herself to stop thinking about that particular memory circling in her head, tries to pull herself out of the inevitable sadness she knew was going to come with pulling his belongings together. Because Liam wasn’t here anymore and she’s not sure they’d ever find their way back to each other again. She grabs his razor sitting against the shelf in her shower, (the only other thing she can think of that’s his in this bathroom), grabs his toothbrush before rushing out of the room that feels like it’s closing in on her. 

She knew this was going to be difficult.

She just didn’t expect it to be this fucking hard. 

She throws the two small items on her bed before making way to her closet, opening the tiny drawer she’d cleaned out for him; a small space for him to keep his things in after the realization that they were barely spending a night apart. 

The first thing she finds is a pair of his flannel pajama pants along with a black tank top that he’d sometimes sleep in, even if he usually did settle for just sleeping in a pair of his boxers. They were just always there if he needed them. 

The shirt below his night clothes makes her heart ping in her chest, a muffled sob escaping her lips that she’s grateful no one else is around to hear. There’s a burning in the corner of her eyes as a few stray tears make their way down her cheek and she does her best to be quick at wiping them away with the back of her hand. 

The baby blue golf tee that he wore on the day she proposed. 

Before everything up and went to hell, before she lost the one person she thought would be the fixed center in her universe. 

It was the morning she’d been the most vulnerable she’d ever been with him, been with _anybody_ for that matter; how she’d spilled her deepest, darkest secret to him on that piano bench and how he just pulled her closer and told her everything was going to be okay and he’d be there for her always, no matter what. 

_It takes her a while before she’s ready to pull back from his embrace, content in the way his arms feel around her, content in the way she feels completely safe in the way he’s holding her._

_She finds his eyes when she lifts her head off his shoulder, his lips immediately pressing against her forehead in the most tender and pure kiss she’s pretty sure she’s ever been on the receiving end of._

_“Can we go upstairs?”_

_He silently grabs her hand and pulls her up with him, letting her lean her weight on him as they tread their way up the staircase and down the hallway to her bedroom. They settle against her sofa in the corner of her room, her fireplace going strong, the orange flames bright and warm and radiating against them._

_Her head settles in his lap and his fingers thread their way through the long strands of her hair, the most calming of touches. Her eyes feel heavy against him, the way his fingers feel against her head relaxing her completely._

_“I really do love you, y’know,” he says, his volume so soft yet the words he speaks are heavy and loud and so very strong. “And I’m always going to be here for you. Please, always remember that.”_

She’d known he was the one for her for a while, probably way before her mind and heart caught up with one another, but that whole moment just solidified it for her. The way he stuck by her side, the way he held her tight. How she muttered something so deep and personal to him, how she gave him an out and would have understood if he took it. 

But he didn’t, he’d only told her he loved her and he wasn’t going anywhere. 

Liam was her forever; she knew that. Except…maybe he wasn’t her forever anymore. 

But that’s something she doesn’t want to think about right now. 

Things are already so hard for her right now and finalizing the end of what they had was a different type of pain she’d never known before. 

She wasn’t ready to let it go, yet. 

She wasn’t ready to let _him_ go. 

His New York University sweatshirt sits nestled in below that blue shirt, something she’d taken a great liking to. She remembers when he gave it to her, that one day that they’d ended up back at his place for a change, for some quiet time with just the two of them.

_The soft summer sun starts disappearing behind the grey clouds that are forecasted to bring rain to their Thursday afternoon. He’d taken her out for lunch, a romantic as always, before the rain showers moving in changed their outdoor plans into indoor plans._

_The rain was bringing in cooler temperatures as well, and the small straps against her shoulders weren’t enough to keep her warm with the temperature dropping quickly. His hand’s still wrapped tightly around hers when he pulls her into his apartment, making their way past his small living room when she feels her body jolt with a shiver._

_“Are you cold, babe?”_

_Of course he noticed, of course he knew exactly what she was feeling. He always knew exactly what she needed, exactly when she needed it. Liam had this way about him, she just can’t believe it took her so long to let herself be like this with him._

_She’d wasted so much time because of fear._

_“A little bit,” she says. “Can I borrow a sweatshirt?”_

_“You don’t even have to ask,” he squeezes her hand in reply, letting it fall out of his grasp in the same breath. “You know where they are. Take whichever one you like.”_

_She makes her way down the familiar path to his room, opening his drawer that was home to all of his sweatshirts. She picks up his dark grey hoodie from his alma mater, NYU, and tugs it over her head, letting the cotton cover her bare skin and bring her an instant feeling of warmth._

_He finds her in his room like that, offering her a glass of water from the two cups in his hand and she gladly accepts. His lips are dangerously close to hers when she feels his breathe against her mouth as he whispers, “That looks better on you than it ever did on me.”_

_“Well, obviously,” she says before pressing her lips against his in a short kiss. “Can we just watch a movie?”_

_“You’re the boss.”_

_He follows her to his bed and they curl up under his sheets, deciding on The Parent Trap (he couldn’t believe she’d never seen it). His head lolls onto her shoulder about ten minutes in and she just leans her head against the top of his to stay close to him._

_But when she calls for his name a few moments later and is met with silence, she’s unsurprised to find he’s already fallen asleep against her. He looks exhausted. He’d been working tirelessly on finishing his book and promoting it, all on top of making sure she wasn’t overworking herself in the process._

_Her body is filled with so much adoration for this boy cuddled against her, she can hardly believe she’s so lucky to have someone who loves her so unconditionally when it’d been drilled into her head since she was a kid that that type of love wasn’t attainable._

_She shuts his TV off, (they could watch the movie another time when he was awake), and leans herself against him, letting her eyes flutter shut against him and allows herself to take in the rare opportunity for a nap with the man she loves._

She throws the sweatshirt in the box, even though it feels odd, because she’s pretty sure it’s _hers_ now, but she doesn’t have time to think any further; she’s dangerously close to tears and she’s still got a few places to dig his things out from. 

The rest of his belongings from his spot in her closet make their way into the small cardboard box she has before she glides back to her open room, placing the box against her bed carefully, before her eyes wander to the place she knows she can find the last few of his things. 

Her nightstand.

Her fingers stall against the cool metal handle, letting her eyes flutter shut before taking in a deep, long drawn out breath. The only thing she sees behind her closed lids is _him_ and _her_ and _them._ Everything is _them_ and it’s breaking every inch of her trying to grapple with the cold, harsh reality that a stupid accident might be the end of their love forever.

She pulls it open slowly, finding the the two items she expected to find against the rest of own belongings sitting messily in the shallow space. 

His passport and his black mask from the masquerade. 

That damn mask sits in front of her eyesight and haunts her as its empty eye slots stare directly back at her. In some ways it felt like it was just yesterday that it all happened, but in some ways it felt like it was forever ago. 

The way he’d held her close that whole night…

To have someone just staying by her side because they loved her; not because he was getting anything out of it, not him shaming her for being upset about everything with her mother that’d gone down - he’d just held on to her hand through the night constantly reminding her that he loved her and letting her deal with all of those emotions in the way she needed to.

_She stirs awake to the gentle sunlight streaming through her windows, the early morning sun still warm and soft in color the way it did just after it rose over the horizon._

_She takes comfort in the way her cheek is pressed against the bare skin of his chest, the way his arm holds on to her waist, the way her arm lays against his stomach and the way their hands are tangled together against the sheets._

_She nestles herself closer into his embrace and feels him squeeze against her when she moves just inches closer._

_He presses a soft kiss against the crown of her head, murmuring into her ear, “Good morning.”_

_“Hi,” she whispers, the way his rubs his fingers in circles against the small of her back bringing her an extra sense of warmth and content._

_“Feeling any better this morning?”_

_She just shrugs her shoulders against him and lets him continue his small movements with his hands against her, the steady beat of his heart making her eyes tired and heavy against him._

_“Thank you for staying.”_

_“I love you,” he offers back at her as explanation, as if he needed no further reason to stay by her side than that mere fact alone. Her eyes start to flutter shut, the mere exhaustion from the night before still weighing down on her, her body relaxing even further against the warmth of his body. “Get some sleep, Fal. I’ll be right here.”_

She’d never experienced anything like it before; she’d never felt anything quite like it before. It made her want to hold on tight to him and never let go, which terrified her; but the thought of losing him scared her ever more. 

She just never imagined this is how things would end for them. 

She never imagined it’d end at all. 

She pulls the flimsy blue passport up next and cradles it in her palm, thinking back to the day she ended up in full control of _his_ travel documents, because her boyfriend was blissfuly forgetful and couldn’t remember right from left most days. 

_She stands with her elbows against his kitchen counter, completely content to watch him pull together the last of their necessities for their picnic out on the lake - Liam’s idea of a romantic date, and she had to agree, it_ did _sound pretty romantic. And she had to admit she was looking forward to spending some alone time with just him, away from her office, away from the manor, away from the world._

_He’d made her lunch, bought a nice bottle of wine and had it all packed up in one of her nice white travel bags. There was a light blue blanket folded up and sitting against the arm his chair, ready for them to grab on their way out the door._

_But that’s when she sees it out of the corner of her eye._

_His passport, in all it’s dark blue glory, sitting off to the side at the far end of the counter she’s currently leaning her weight against. The one he told her he’d look for and find just a few days ago, the one he’d been struggling to find for weeks which posed quite the problem if the were planning to jet outside the country at any given moment._

_She could just tell him she sees it, but what’s the fun in that?_

_“Liam, did you end up finding your passport? So we can maybe actually take that trip one day.”_

_“Yeah, actually, I did,” he says in his blue, white and red flannel looking extremely good looking today if she does say so herself. Not that it was much different from how he looked every other day; he always looked good. “I left it in my bedroom. I’ll go grab it.”_

_She rolls her eyes back after he turns from her, heading in the direction of his bedroom. She can hear him rustling around with things, opening drawers and closing them just the same, obviously unable to find his target, as it was sitting delicately in her palm._

_“Hey, babe,” he yells from his room. “Can you come give me a second eye? I can’t seem to find it.”_

_She makes her way down the short hallway, dangling the little blue pamphlet in her hands as she stands in the doorway and watches him frantically search for it. He’s looking under his pillows, tearing his comforter off his bed, looking against his dresser and moving his way to the closet._

_Gosh, she really did love him._

_Even with his incredibly forgetful mind._

_“Babe?”_

_“Fal, I swear. I left it on my nightstand,” he mutters, running a hand through his hair in a move she recognized all too well as stress. “I don’t know where it would have ended up.”_

_“Babe.”_

_“Seriously,” he gestures to his nightstand with both of his muttering, “It was right there!”_

_“Liam!”_

_“What?” He trails off quietly when he looks up and sees her with the passport in her hands, dangling it from her fingers. “Oh.”_

_“Yeah,_ oh _.”_

_He comes up to her then, hands coming up to rest securely against her waistline. “Where did you find that?”_

_“It was right on your kitchen counter,” she mutters, her hands weaving around his neck. “You’re really forgetful, you know that?”_

_“But you love me regardless.”_

_“For some reason, I do.”_

_She pushes back from his embrace and in return pushes the dark blue passport in his direction, out for him to grab with his two hands._

_But he declines._

_“How about you hold on to that for me?”_

It’s weird how insignificant holding on to that passport had felt at the time, but how now it’d felt like it was another step towards their two separate lives really blending together and becoming one all of their own. 

She throws the last of his things in the box still sitting against her bed before she turns around and realizes just how empty this place feels without him. How all the memories they’d made together in just a short time were stronger and more prominent in her mind than any of the memories she’d made in this room in the twenty-five years of her life before she’d even met him. She wills the tears threatening to fall, the tears burning the corner of her eyes to go away, but they slip down her cheek anyway and she doesn’t even try to wipe them away swiftly this time. She just lets them fall around her, lets herself feel for the given moment after spending these last few weeks trying to feel anything _but_ hurt in this current situation. 

She grabs the box at it’s handles, making her way to her door with every intent of bringing everything to him right now before she stops abruptly before exiting, turning herself back around. She sits the box against the ottoman at the foot of her bed, everything he’d owned that made it’s way to her room sitting inside the cardboard crevice. 

She couldn’t help but feel that the moment she handed this over to him, the moment she put these things back in his possession, it would signify the end of their relationship, their _engagement._ And she’s realizing now why she’d been putting this off for the past few weeks - the whole giving him his stuff back - because she mentally wasn’t prepared to face the reality that Liam wasn't going to be there for her anymore like he promised he always would be. 

Maybe…maybe she could just hold on to his things a few more days.

She pull his (her?) NYU sweatshirt out of the box and slips it over her head, letting herself breathe in the scent of him that still lingered on it, letting herself take in how it made her feel a little closer to him. She slips under her covers and curls up next to her pillow, doing everything in her power to convince herself it was him there holding her close and everything was exactly the way it should be.

She hangs on blissfully to the outcome she knows won’t ever come. 


End file.
